


Absolutely Mutual

by Solemnly_Swear (Fitzsimmonsx)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Concerned Arthur, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 22:38:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17969372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fitzsimmonsx/pseuds/Solemnly_Swear
Summary: Merlin worries about Arthur a lot. Who’s to say it’s one-sided?(aka Merlin doesn’t tell Arthur where he’s going and Arthur panics) (one-shot)





	Absolutely Mutual

The battle was only halfway through when Merlin decided he’d had enough. The clanging of swords, the deceptively calming sunlight filtering through the trees, the battle cries (even from where he was, Merlin could pick out Arthur’s voice among the rest). There was nothing Merlin could do but stand around in a situation like this. Arthur’s comrades-in-arms ensured that any slip of magic would be caught by ever-watchful eyes, and Merlin didn’t particularly prefer watching Arthur almost die. So, for the first time, Merlin stepped away from the battle.

His heart caught in his throat, and he paused in his tracks, waiting for someone to call his name. But Arthur was caught in the battle, deflecting a nasty looking blow, and the rest were occupied similarly. Merlin winced as Arthur feinted and then stabbed, and glanced away before the man dropped to the ground. He’d never quite gotten used to it, the way that they could all kill without hesitation. It didn’t anger him anymore, but it unnerved him instead, made his eyes skip over the blood and the bodies.

Another clang echoed across the clearing, followed by another thump, and Merlin gave Arthur one more glance before turning away. He was sure he’d be needed later to polish Arthur’s armor, but for now he was at his limit. Merlin’s destiny was to protect Arthur- but in the small moments, in the battles in between, Arthur could protect himself. Merlin liked to think Arthur had an idea of how much Merlin had given up for him (and likely would continue to in the future), but he also knew that Arthur needed his independence. Part of his identity lay in his ability to protect himself and others, to be the knight in shining armor (quite literally), and that was something Merlin would never take away from him.

The grass flattened beneath Merlin’s boots as he made his way back to the castle, stumbling only a few times over the branches scattered on the path. He’d help Gaius make some potions when he got back to the castle, he decided. It had been ages since he’d had the time to truly help out, and Gaius could always use the help. Arthur probably wouldn’t be back until evening anyways. The knights tended to keep him out around Camelot after a battle, whether they were visiting the tavern or simply going out to eat. Merlin usually stuck at Arthur’s side, a little ill at ease, and it was a relief to imagine the quiet of the castle and Gaius’s chambers.

Maybe he could even learn some magic! He’d been planning to learn a couple little spells recently, ones that looked like they would take very little time (and would help to properly direct his magic). The majority of them were defensive in case of an attack, or in case of Arthur being in danger. Shields seemed generally easy to pull off, and virtually undetectable if done at-

Merlin stumbled over another branch, thoughts interrupted, and kneeled there for a moment in the dirt, just breathing. He could practically hear Arthur’s voice teasing him, the familiar mocking grin on his face. ‘What. An. Idiot.’ he would declare, making no move to help him up. ‘Was there even a branch there or was it just your feet?’

Merlin turned back slightly, listening for the sounds of a battle that he could no longer hear, before shaking his head and heaving himself up off the ground. There was no use worrying about Arthur- he would be fine. He always was. Merlin pushed the insistent worrying to the back of his head and kicked the branch viciously, giving it a couple good stomps before moving on. (Really, you’d think he’d be used to all this by now.)

 

***

 

Gaius was in fact nowhere near his chambers- Merlin considered skiving off until Arthur returned, and barely managed to resist the call. If he didn’t wake up by the time Arthur got back, Merlin would never live it down. Much better to learn some new spells than to finally get some sleep and consequently face eternity being pelted in the face with Arthur’s pillows.

The light in Merlin’s chambers slowly dimmed over the next couple of hours- eventually, Merlin took a break to light the fire in his grate and hide his spellbook properly in the usual drawer. Glancing around outside his chambers, Merlin muttered the words to put out the fire and closed the door gently behind him, setting off in the direction of the castle’s new makeshift infirmary.

Gaius generally frequented the infirmary during the afternoon hours and retired to his chambers when the sun began to set, but on some occasions, he made an exception (the exception usually being an especially drastic case or treating minor injuries from a battle). The infirmary seemed to point to the latter reason- Merlin could hear the commotion from his spot in the corridor. He stepped inside, surveying the room to see if he could spot Arthur.

The room that had been chosen as a temporary infirmary was actually quite large- it had clearly been intended to work for a while, belying its purpose. It had originally been established to deal with the recent increase in conflicts around Camelot, but it seemed to have become somewhat of a general health spot. People from all around Camelot came in with problems ranging from scratches to fatal diseases. Gaius alone was unequipped to handle such an influx, so Uther had reluctantly hired several apprentices to help out.

Merlin could spot a few of the apprentices rushing around, bandaging wounds and applying poultices. Gaius was in the corner, preparing the poultices- he was the first to spot Merlin and gesture him over.

“Where have you been?” Gaius asked, looking him over. Merlin opened his mouth to reply, but Gaius shook his head, cutting him off. “Never mind, you can tell me later. I need help here making-“

“I actually have to- er, find Arthur? And just, check up on him. Yeah. So sorry, would love to help.” Merlin backed away guiltily. He really did want to find Arthur and check up on him. It felt a bit strange to not be near him after a battle, to not see that familiar grin of victory. And checking up on him was a good idea. Arthur tended to ignore his own scrapes and bruises if his knights had worse injuries. Someone had to make sure he got properly treated.

“Merlin!” Gaius hissed as the sorcerer in question made his escape.

The infirmary, although filled with Arthur’s knights, was noticeably missing Arthur himself. Merlin sighed, wondering what had happened this time. Was it worth asking a knight? He might just be sulking in his chambers. Merlin would have to make painfully bad jokes and take the combination of disdain and eventual amusement. He might even end up taking a pillow in the face (why was this his life?) in the name of cheering Arthur up. Merlin had never been great at that stuff- Arthur was far better than him, even if his efforts weren’t exactly subtle.

“To victory!” cheered a couple of knights, toasting with some pain potions from Gaius’s stock. Well, sulking seemed to be out of the question then.

Merlin edged along the infirmary, finally reaching the corridor and shutting the door behind him. The air was welcomingly cool, the loud voices muffled behind the door, and Merlin leaned against it for a moment, collecting his thoughts. If Arthur wasn’t in the infirmary or sulking- well, it was worth checking his quarters anyways. Maybe he had gone to sleep early (probably leaving all his armor in an uneven pile for Merlin to sort out, exactly the way he knew Merlin hated it).

The familiar thump of boots rounded the corner beside the infirmary, interrupting Merlin’s thoughts- Merlin pushed off of the wall, unable to stop the smile taking over his face.

“Arthur! There you are, you prat. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Rather than replying, Arthur kept moving towards Merlin, a wild look on his face. Merlin froze, convinced for a second that he was going to be killed, and then the breath was knocked out of him and Arthur’s arms were tight around him.

Merlin relaxed a little in Arthur’s arms, glad to see him safe (glad to feel him safe). The sharpness of Arthur’s armor dug into him a bit, though- after a couple moments, Merlin shifted uncomfortably.

“Arthur?” he managed, voice a bit strangled. The quickness of Arthur’s breathing slowed down a bit and he sighed against the side of Merlin’s neck.

“You’re an absolute _idiot_ , Merlin, do you know that?” came the reply, although without any of the usual venom. Arthur pulled away slowly, looking Merlin over. “Are you alright, though?”

Merlin nodded, absently scratching the back of his neck and shifting his gaze to the side.

“Why the _hell_ did you leave the battle?” Arthur asked, beginning to look properly pissed off. “I had no idea where you were. I thought you might have been- taken or something. Or hurt.” A pause. “What are you gaping at me for? Close your mouth before you get flies in it.”

“I just- I thought I might as well get back to the castle if the battle was going to go on for a while,” Merlin said slowly, taking in Arthur’s state of disarray. “You should... you should take your armor off, sire.”

Arthur gave Merlin the evil eye. “We’re not done here, Merlin. You can’t just leave in the middle of a battle. Do you have any idea how-“ Arthur stopped, apparently searching for the right words, before sighing in absolute frustration and lapsing into silence.

“Well,” Merlin offered, “to be fair, there’s no reason for me to stick around during battles. I can’t really help or anything.” It was a truce meant to fix the situation, whatever it was- one of Arthur’s favorite subjects was Merlin’s inaptitude in any sort of fighting situation.

It didn’t seem to work this time. Arthur just shook his head and looked Merlin over again before inclining his head to the infirmary. “Are they all alright?”

Merlin nodded and Arthur was gone, the door to the infirmary shutting behind him. Merlin stood there for a moment, heart beating at a strangely frantic pace, before sighing and deciding to head back in as well. Gaius would still need help with the poultices, and Arthur- Merlin would have to check up on Arthur. He hadn’t had much of a chance before, what with the whole hugging thing and then the apparent stick up Arthur’s ass.

Merlin stood for another second, remembering the warmth of Arthur’s arms around him, before shaking it off and opening the door to the infirmary.


End file.
